


Anchor

by Harky21



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Cinderella Elements, Little Mermaid Elements, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-01 07:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11481123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harky21/pseuds/Harky21
Summary: Yuki can’t remember anything before waking up in a bed in Minako’s house. He can’t remember where he’s from, who he is, or why he feels like he’s forgetting something even more important. Victor doesn’t know where Yuuri went or why he left so suddenly. He’s searched every piece of sea the merman mentioned and can’t find him, but there’s a new man in the village who is eerily similar to him, but merpeople can’t just sprout legs. Can they?





	Anchor

**Author's Note:**

> “All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was.”  
> ~ Toni Morrison

Pain.

That is the only thing Yuuri knows. The only thing that he is fully, consciously aware of.

Blinding, white hot pain.

He gasps, trying to breathe, but finds no air. The only thing he’s taking in is wet and heavy and suffocating.

“Yuuri!”

He tries to figure out where the sound came from but he can’t. He’s rolling, turning. He can’t control his movement or where he is. Nothing makes sense.

He feels something tugging at him, pulling him somewhere. But when he opens his eyes they sting and all he sees is blue. Deep, heavy blue.

Then suddenly everything becomes lighter. He becomes weightless, floating. Then something breaks.

He sputters and gasps at the new lightness surrounding him. He’s not sure why, but the feeling is foreign, almost wrong. Something is still pulling, pushing. His back hits hard surface that gives at his weight, coarse and rough, it stings.

Then it stops. His head is spinning, eyes unfocused. There’s a shadow above him.

“Yuuri! Hey, come on Yuuri. Don’t give up on me now.”

Then the world fades to black.

* * *

He hears murmuring all around him, feels his body being moved, but it’s all happening so far away, only a vague impression on his semi-conscious mind. He isn’t sure it’s even him it's happening too. Especially since there is a face so vivid in his mind. Silver hair and shining blue eyes smiling and warm, a hand reaching out to him that he tries desperately to take.

But he is getting further and further away. Yuuri runs after him, chasing and trying to call out for him to wait. He wants to go too, he doesn’t want to be left behind. Not when the man is taking the warmth and light with him. Not when the farther away he gets the closer the edge becomes, the louder the voices, the deeper the emptiness nestles in his chest. He keeps getting farther and Yuuri is running as hard as he can, desperately trying to catch up. And then he’s gone.

The voices become clearer.

“You found…”

“... is he from?”

“... we should move…”

He can tell there’s more than one now, but they’re all fading in and out.

He doesn’t know how long it is in between each of them or where he is. He can’t build up enough energy to concentrate on the words, to open his eyes, so he lets it fade again, slipping into nothingness.

* * *

It’s quiet this time when he drifts back, a soft, rhythmic creaking sounding gently near him. He feels heavy and his mind is in a haze, but the noise continues. He slowly blinks his eyes open and is met with the sight of a ceiling made of a blurred material he’s not entirely sure he knows the name of, but it seems… warm.

He attempts to move, but his body immediately protests as he becomes aware of the dull throbbing ache that encompasses him, a small sound coming from his throat at the effort of the movement.

The creaking stops.

“So I see you’ve finally decided to join the living.” A woman’s voice sounds from the corner. He turns to where the voice came from, but it’s fuzzy. All he can make out is a blurred figure.

He looks about the room again. It’s mainly different hues of brown, all blurred together with an occasional pop of color. He squints, trying to make out what the room actually looks like beyond the end of the bed, but he can’t. He directs his attention back to the blob he heard the voice come from. He tries focusing his sight again, but can’t.

“Where am I?” he finally asks, realizing he doesn’t actually know.

And then she steps into focus. The woman is slight, has long brown hair, and a soft smile. Her eyes seem sad as she covers his hand with hers. He hadn’t noticed he was clenching the blankets of the bed so tightly.

“You’re in my house right now, in Hasetberg. My name is Minako. What’s your name, honey?”

“Yuu…” he starts, but suddenly it’s lost on his tongue. He knows there’s another part. Yuu isn’t his full name, but he can’t remember the rest.

“Yuu…” he tries again, still coming up blank.

“Yuu… something. I… I can’t remember the rest.” His brow creases in confusion. It’s at the edge of his mind. It’s something he knows, _should_ know, but it’s just out of reach.

He sees the woman’s brow crease, concern evident in her eyes.

“How about Yuki for now then?” she asks lightly, smiling.

Yuki nods. It sounds close to being right somehow.

“Yuki, I think you were in a shipwreck. A storm came through and I found you washed up on the beach yesterday. You’ve been out for quite a while,” she informs him gently, voice hushed as if trying to soften the news.

“What?” Yuki gawks.

“Where are you from, Yuki?” she presses on. “We can send word to your town, let them know you’re okay while you’re here, maybe they'll be able to help with your name. I don’t think you’ll be in any condition to travel for at least a few more days.”

Yuki nods opening his mouth to answer but stops.

He can’t remember.

He can’t remember where he’s from. He can’t remember a family or a house or a town. He can’t even remember the storm Minako just spoke of. He feels like he knows these things. That they are obvious, but they just won’t come to him. He can’t remember anything past waking up a few minutes ago.

His mouth is gaping, trying to form the answers that should be there, but he can’t reply.

A feeling of dread seeps into his chest when he looks up to the woman again. “I… I don’t know.”

Panic sweeps through him. His hands flying to his head, grasping at his hair, eyes focused back down on the patterned quilt on his lap.

“I don’t know. How do I _not know_ ? I should know, shouldn’t I?” Yuki’s mind is racing, his breaths coming faster and faster, chest seizing up. “No, no, no, I _have_ to remember. I can’t not, I-”

A strong hand on his shoulder catches him off guard, head whipping up again. “Hey, breathe with me.” It’s a calm, steady command, his lungs don’t seem to want to cooperate but he tries, all attention focused on the woman. Watching and copying. Deep breath in, whooshing wind out.

In... Out... In... Out... In... Out…

He continues to copy the pattern. Trying to focus, to not let the terrifying thought that he doesn’t know who he is or where he’s from creep back into the forefront of his mind.

He finally regains control of his breathing, but his hands are still clenching the blanket.

Minako leans into his view. “It’ll be okay. You can stay here as long as you need to, Yuki. Right now just focus on recovering, okay?”

Yuki nods, repeating Minako’s words like a mantra in his head.

_It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay._

“Good, now, here.”

She passes him a cup of water. He takes a sip and suddenly realizes how thirsty he is and begins to chug it.

“Hey, slow down, hun,” Minako chides, but as soon as he finishes the glass she pours him some more. “Are you hungry?” she asks, passing back the cup.

Yuki hadn’t thought of food, but once she mentions it he feels the gnawing in his stomach and realizes that he is. He nods.

Minako smiles. “Good, I’ll go get some porridge.”

Once she leaves Yuki looks around the room again, biting his lip, trying to see what’s there. The clouded shapes seem strange, like they are close to something he knows, but not quite right.

He closes his eyes, trying to focus. Bring any shred of memory to the surface, but once again there’s nothing and it makes him feel empty, lost, like a husk.

Minako soon reappears carrying a tray. Once she gets closer he realizes that it has more water and a bowl on it. Yuki sighs, glad to know something finally looks familiar, until the tray is placed in front of him.

He eyes the white goop sitting in the bowl and swallows thickly. He glances back up to Minako who smiles encouragingly before pulling up a chair closer to his bed. Yuki keeps looking at the bowl uneasily. It doesn't look natural. He also realizes he isn’t exactly sure how to eat it. So he continues to stare at the tray.

He hears a “tsk” from Minako and she is suddenly picking up the silver piece next to the bowl and stirring it creating a plume of steam before bringing a small spoonful up and blowing on it before offering it to Yuki.  

He stares at it, still unsure if it’s actually safe to eat.

Minako sighs. “Yuki, you need to try and eat. You haven’t had anything for almost two days now. Please.”

Yuki looks at the spoon and then back at Minako’s pleading face and hesitantly opens his mouth. The spoon slides carefully in. The contents of it are hot against his tongue, but it’s not bad. It’s grainy and a touch sweet, and once he swallows, Yuki realizes just how hungry he actually is.

A small smile pulls at the edge of Minako’s mouth when Yuki takes the piece of metal from her and begins to steadily take bite after bite. The food is still strange, but his stomach appreciates it.

Once he’s finished the bowl, Minako takes the tray away again just as Yuki yawns. She chuckles. “Try and get some more sleep. I’m sure you still need it.”

Yuki nods, then hesitates a moment before a whispered thank you breaks through his lips.

Minako simply smiles again before leaving and Yuki lays back down pulling the covers over his shoulders, darkness and sleep enveloping him once again.

* * *

The next time he wakes it’s to music. A soft melody floating through the air. He doesn’t know it, but the soft peels of notes rising and falling draw him almost immediately in. He feels the need to find it, to move with it. He _knows_ it, it's familiar, it's home.

Half awake Yuki moves to get up, his body aching with protest, but he wants to see where the music is coming from. Pulled by the invisible threads of the melody he swings his feet over the edge of the bed, making to stand, but as soon as he tries to stand to his full height, Yuki sways. He tries to steady himself, but before he knows it he’s on the floor.

The music abruptly stops and he hears footsteps rushing to the room.

The door bursts open and he hears Minako gasp as she runs over to Yuki who is only just realizing what happened.

“Yuki! Are you okay!?” Minako is frantically looking at him like something went very wrong, and he guesses something did since he’s on the floor and not standing, but Yuki still only feels shock.

“Y-yeah,” he stutters out, looking down at his legs. They’re not working for some reason and he doesn’t know why.

Minako’s hands go to his shoulders, relief washing away the fear on her face.

“Okay. Let’s get you back in bed. What were you doing trying to get out of it anyway? I thought I told you to rest.”

“The music,” Yuki replies immediately. “I wanted to see where it was coming from.”

Minako sighs, but there’s a tilt to her mouth that’s strangely like a smile. “I was just at the piano.”

 _Piano,_ the word sounds strange to his ears, foreign even. “Can I see it?” The question spills from his lips before he can even think over it thoroughly.

Minako smiles at that, moving to help Yuki get back in bed. “I’ll do you one better,” she replies. “I’ll teach you to play it.”

Yuki smiles as he settles back. “Okay.”

Minako moves to tuck the covers around Yuki, but pauses. “Yuki, could you please wiggle your toes for me?”

His brow furrows at the request but he carefully wiggles his toes.

“Good and can you move your legs?”

Yuki draws his legs up and moves them toward the edge of the bed like he did when he tried to stand.

“Okay, good, so looks like we just need to get you strong again, ay?” she says as she tucks the covers in around him. She smiles at him and her work before her eyes flit to the side for second before going wide. She reaches to the table, taking up something Yuki can’t see. She holds it for a moment, eyes clouded in thought like she's trying to decide something.

“Yuki,” Minako looks back up at him, searching. “This was clasped in your hand when we found you.”

She opens her hand holding it out for him to see. In it is a gold ring. Simple, but elegant. Yuki reaches hesitantly to pick it up. When he finally does it feels… right. Like it should never have left his hand to begin with. He runs his finger gently over the smooth surface, rolling it softly between his fingers. Something inside the band catches his eyes. A looped scrawl. He squints, bringing the ring close to read.

_To My Love_

Yuki blinks. _To My Love_. That, that means.

He looks up at Minako again. “Was someone found with me?” He asks, a desperate edge to the hushed whisper.

Minako’s eyes fall slightly and she shakes her head. “No, Yuki. You were the only one.”

* * *

Minako has a doctor come visit him the next day. He's poked and prodded for a bit before the doctor asks him to try and stand again. When he begins to tumble the doctor holds his arm and Yuki finds he can walk with help, but on shaky legs.

"I think you'll be back on your feet in no time. Just do the exercises and you'll be fine," the doctor smiles, packing away the few things he brought.

"Thank you," Yuki replies, squinting a bit trying to make out the old man's face.

The doctor pauses.

"Yuki, do you by chance remember if you wore glasses?"

Yuki shakes his head, brow crinkling at the odd word.

"Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?" he inquires.

Yuki stares at the blur he thinks is the doctor's hand and simply shakes his head.

"I don't know," he mutters, looking down feeling like he failed something.

"What about now?" The doctor has inched closer and Yuki looks up seeing three fingers now, though still a tad fuzzy.

"Three," he says.

The doctor moves back out of his vision and does a few more tests. When he's satisfied with it he tells Minako he'll get a pair of glasses for Yuki to use until he can come in and get his eyes checked properly.

Minako thanks him and follows him out of the room, whispering to him in a hushed voice, leaving Yuki behind.

The next day, just as he and Minako start the exercises, there's a knock at the door. Minako goes to answer and comes back. When she walks into view Yuki can tell she's smiling. She unfolds an odd looking object and places it carefully on Yuuri's nose. He opens his eyes again and he can see the room. It's a light brown, and there's lots of light coming through the windows. He can see the door and the ceiling and the plants in the corners, the cushions on the chair. His mouth falls open and Minako chuckles.

"Being able to see is nice, huh?"

Yuki nods, mouth still open has he takes in the room around him with this new found super power.

He spends the next few days still in bed, taking in every detail of the room and outside the window, getting out only to do the exercises he was assigned. Minako watches carefully making sure Yuki doesn't hurt himself and she stays with him when she can, but, as Yuki has now learned, she owns a piano studio. The times she is gone leave Yuki with music drifting down the hall toward him. It soothes the unease that's made itself at home in his chest, the constant feeling that he's forgetting something important, but then again he's forgotten everything so it's almost certain he has forgotten more than one important thing. Minako still assures him he'll remember soon. Yuki hopes she's right.

* * *

Vibrating with excitement, Yuki follows Minako down the hall. She's finally letting him see the piano. He still isn’t completely steady on his feet, but she said you sit to play so he’ll be fine. He’s heard the notes dancing in from the other room for days now and he wants to see what could possibly make such a beautiful sound.

His hand flits across the wall to steady himself as they walk through the hall, his eyes catching on books and shelves full of knick-knacks as he goes. They reach a dark wooden door and Minako smiles at him before turning the knob and pushing it open and entering.

Yuki holds his breath as he steps through the door. The room is cluttered, papers everywhere with tiny dancing dots on them strewn about and in stacks taller than Yuki all surrounding the thing at the center of the room. He isn’t really sure what he was expecting, but it was not this monstrosity of wood that stands before him.

“This is a piano?” he asks, brow creased. “How does it make music?”

Minako leads him to the bench in front of the beast and sits down beside him, folding back part of the piano to reveal black and white keys.

“Like this,” she says, a gleam in her eye as her fingers fall onto the keys and the room comes to life with a sweet tune, happy and light. Yuki watches amazed as her hands dance and notes rise, distracting him from anything else. He’s grinning and his hands begin to itch, wanting to touch the keys too, wanting to _make_ music.

Minako brings the tune to an end and turns to him. “Would you like to try?”

“Yes!” Yuki grins and nods enthusiastically, scootching closer to the keys, fingers already hovering above it, unsure of what to do.

“Okay, so the first thing is where to place your hands.”

Minako takes Yuki’s hands in hers and gently places his fingers on the keys.

“Good. This is the basic starting position. No, make sure to keep your fingers arched. I will not have flat fingers at this piano. Good, now, gently press your right thumb down.”

Yuki does as he’s told and a beautiful note bursts to life. He grins at Minako, pressing his thumb down again.

She smiles back. "That key is called C."

Yuki plays it again concentrating on the sound. "C."

“Okay, now try each finger slowly. Good. Those notes are C, D, E, F, and G..."

The lesson continues and by the end Yuki's head is so full and dancing with notes, he doesn’t feel so empty anymore.

* * *

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Yuki asks as he eyes the front door nervously.

“Of course! Now come on hurry up. We don’t want all the good vegetables to be taken by Nishigori’s, do we?”

He shakes his head in the negative. Over the last week Yuki has learned that Minako is very competitive and the Nishigori’s, or at least Mr. Nishigori, and her have a bit of a standing competition in about nearly everything. It’s all good-natured from what he can tell, but today Yuki honestly can’t care about whether or not Mr. Nishigori gets the good vegetables because Yuki is incredibly anxious about this entire endeavor.

He's been doing the exercises the doctor gave him with Minako, but he's tripped every now and then when he missteps. He still near constantly holds on to the edges of furniture to make sure he doesn’t fall. But now Minako wants him to go _outside_ , and Yuki isn’t so sure about it. Yes, it looks beautiful from the window and he does think it'd be nice to see a flower up close, but there aren’t tables and chairs to hold on to out there.

“Yuki?”

Minako is looking at him intently.

Yuki swallows. “Yes?” His voice is shaky and he's still clinging to the door for dear life.

“Come on. I know you can do this. I will be right by you the entire time. If you feel at all unsteady you can grab onto me, okay?” she reassures.

Looking to her and then out the door he finally relents and steps outside, legs remaining steady underneath him. She smiles then and pulls the door closed and locks it.

It’s bright out and Yuki squints before his eyes adjust.

A gentle breeze welcomes him carrying the scent of the sea on it, familiar and comforting. He finds himself turning almost immediately toward it, part of him having a sudden need to be near the water.

"Yuki! This way!" Minako calls over her shoulder.

He looks at the ocean again before turning to follow Minako. He can ask her if it's okay for him to go down when they get back.

Relaxing, he keeps pace with Minako on the road into town, marveling as they pass by a million things he isn’t really sure he has words for. He learned a few things from what he could see from the window. Like the towering brown and green giants called trees and the small shoots of green from the ground are grass. Yuki had called it nori when he saw it, but Minako corrected him.

Things like that are common now. Minako corrects him all the time. When Yuki remembers the name of something half the time it’s wrong, even though he swears he knows what the object is called. Everything seems foreign yet oddly familiar. Minako says Yuki must know a different language, lived in a different country. That that’s why he knows things but with odd words. And the new names she gives the objects feel wrong, heavy and sharp on his tongue like they don’t fit in his mouth. But even with the small confusions Yuki can’t help but marvel at all that's new. Hundreds of questions race through his head, but he doesn’t have the words to ask them. So he simply takes it in, only asking when there's something particularly strange he notices like the humans on top of large creatures. "Horses," Minako replied simply.

When they get closer to the center of town, Yuki’s stomach begins to buzz again in nervousness and he reaches for Minako’s hand, gripping it tightly trying to not get lost in the crowd. There are people and carts everywhere, all buzzing about, hurrying to and from places Yuki doesn’t know, hearing snippets of conversation here and there as they enter the crowded area of stalls selling food.

It’s overwhelming and Yuki’s panic rises when Minako pulls her hand away from his again to examine some tomatoes at a cart they’ve stopped by.

“Well if it isn’t, Minako. Haven’t seen you round for a while,” a sweet voice rings out next to them.

They both look over at the newcomer. She’s a bit shorter than Minako, hair just as long, but pulled back. Minako just grins at her and she grins back.

“Yuuko! How have you been? I see Takeshi sent you to do his dirty work today.”

Yuuko giggles some at that. “Good, good. You know, busy with the girls as usual. And yeah, he specifically told me to get here before you did, but I see I failed at that. How about you?”

“Same as always, a bit busier. Lessons have picked up some and I’ve been helping Yuki get back on his feet,” she motions to him.

Yuuko looks over Minako’s shoulder. “Yes, I’ve heard. Is this him?”

“Yeah,” Minako turns to him. “Yuki this is Yuuko Nishigori.”

Yuki’s eyes widened, recognizing the name, before he stutters out a, “Nice to meet you.”

Yuuko smiles at him and returns the greeting. “So Yuki, how are you enjoying Hasetberg?”

He notices Minako shoot Yuuko a look, but can’t decipher it so he replies.

“Umm, it’s nice so far,” is the best answer he can come up with. He doesn’t really know what to think of Hasetberg yet. He's only been here a week and he doesn’t really have anything to compare it too.

“Good,” she smiles. “You and Minako will have to come over for dinner some time. Then you’ll know some more people in town and you can meet Takeshi and my girls.”

“Thank you,” Yuki gives a small smile.

Yuuko nods smiling in return and then turns back to Minako. “So, did you hear the news?”

“What news?” Minako replies, turning back to the tomatoes.

“The king upped and left this morning on some unplanned voyage. The hubbub at the docks was certainly a sight, I’ll tell you.”

“Ha! Well that’s Nikiforov for you, isn’t it? I swear that man is going to give his poor advisor a heart attack. And the ball is coming up too, isn’t it?”

“Yes, about a month, I think. And foreign dignitaries are coming in early too. I know that our King likes to surprise, but this move is reckless, even for him. I don’t even remember him doing anything like this as Crown Prince.”

Yuki listens more carefully to their conversation. A king leaving his people? It seems terribly irresponsible.

“Well he had his father to keep a hand on him then, right? Now he can follow any impulse he has at whim,” Minako giggles a bit causing Yuki to think maybe this is perhaps a joke.

“He’s a good king though. Some say he’s been distracted lately, but with all the turmoil the last war caused who can blame him? He has to keep juggling so many things,” Yuuko replies.

Minako nods in agreement. Then a sly smile spreads. “I also heard it was because he finally found someone.”

“Now that, my friend, is gossip. There’s no way that if Victor Nikiforov became enamored with someone that he wouldn’t make it known to the entire kingdom,” Yuuko laughs. "Not to mention word is that the ball is to help him find someone to marry, isn't it?"

"I find that hard to believe. Who wouldn't want to marry the living legend himself? He never lost a battle during the war."

Yuki listens a bit longer about this king before tuning out when the conversation switches to the quality of the produce. From what he could pick up the man seems… eccentric. Yuki files the piece of information away. It’s good to know about the man ruling them, not that Yuki would ever meet him, but it might come in handy all the same.

He begins to look around at the stalls that surround them. He sees spices and fabrics from places he doesn't even know the names of, and clothes and jewelry of every imaginable kind.

And then his gaze lands on a flower stall. He hadn't seen too many flowers on their way to the market and they looked so beautiful he found his feet carrying him over without thinking.

The small lady behind the stall perks up when she sees him coming.

"Hello there, young man? Would you care to buy a flower? Perhaps for a special someone back home," she smiles, wrinkles crinkling at the edges of her eyes and mouth, warm and friendly.

Yuki smiles back before scanning the flowers again. They're of every imaginable color, dancing in the breeze they look like they're laughing. There's tall white ones reaching up for a kiss, large yellow ones like the sun, red ones beyond description.

Then his eyes land on a rose, deep blue at the edges fading gently in to violet at the center it draws draw him in. Suddenly the market isn't there. A bright smile and an outstretched hand flash through his mind. He stops breathing. He can't look away. He _knows_ this flower.

"Ah, the blue rose," the old woman breaks his trance. "It's incredibly rare, found only in our kingdom. Said to be favored by our current king."

 _A blue rose._ There's something, there _must_ be something, he knows this flower, this…

"Yuki!"

His head snaps up to see Minako across the way, motioning for him to come and hurry up. He looks back to the woman behind the stall and nods his thanks before moving away. She gives him a small soft smile.

"Why are you crying?" Minako asks when he make it over to her.

"Huh?"

Minako reaches up and wipes under his eye and he can feel the wetness then. He reaches up to touch his own cheek looking at the droplets left on his hand.

"Umm, I don't know, sorry," he wipes at his face.

Concern washes over Minako's face. "It's okay, don't worry, kid. Come on, I need to get back and get dinner started before Minami comes for his lesson later.

Yuki nods and follows, looking back one more time at the blue rose.

* * *

They get back to Minako's cottage and Yuki helps her put away the vegetables not being used for dinner that night. Minako said the boy coming in for lessons today, Minami, always had late ones on Wednesdays so she tends to make a stew or soup.

"I'll teach you how to make it too," she says as she's bustling through cabinets, pulling different things out from them.

Yuki perks up some at that. He's been intrigued by the food that Minako makes. It's new and different to him. Once he got used to the strange textures the taste has been wonderful.

He spends the next hour learning to hold a knife and cut pieces of vegetables and meat in the correct manner and how to boil water and make broth. With a small satisfied smile Minako nods to him in approval.

"Okay, and now we just let it cook. I'll be in the studio. Come get me if you need anything,” she smiles.

Yuki smiles back, watching as she leaves the kitchen.

He looks around again at all the pots and pans and sighs. He doesn’t really know what to do with himself now. He can’t practice piano and he doesn’t feel like reading. Part of him thinks he’s never been very good at reading. It’s hard for him to piece the letters together to create the correct sounds.

Then strains of music start to sound from the studio. He listens carefully as the melody builds, smiling a bit when he hears an out of place note. He can barely get the correct keys under his fingers. It’s nice to know he’s not alone in that, but it feels like there’s something missing in the music. The tune is light, running across the keys as if chasing something just out of reach, a sad tone to it, but the longer Yuki listens... Yuki doesn’t know how to explain it, but it feels… incomplete, like a part is missing that should be slotted into the small pauses, like it’s waiting for a response.

He listens as Minako continues to start and stop her student, making corrections here and there.

By now Yuki has slid down to sit on the floor, just listening to the notes cascade. Minami finally makes it through the entire piece and he hears a bit of praise from Minako. He moves to leave, but then Minami starts again and he freezes. This time another line of music accompanies the first. A deep steady cadence supporting and accompany the first line of music, slotting into the small spaces of brightness, cascading like a waterfall. It sounds whole and leaves Yuki feeling like he’s not.

* * *

Days begin to swirl together in a hazy cloud of remembering new information, learning the town and the area, new names and faces, and piano lessons. Before Yuki knows it, it's been three weeks since he woke in Minako’s house. Three extremely frustrating weeks where he feels like he’s had to relearn almost everything. Playing piano and going down to the ocean are the closest things to escaping it all.

Yuki has taken incredibly well to the piano. Music just makes sense to him and after Minako taught him the keys, he simply kept going, tripping up here and there over fingerings and rhythms as she taught him to read music, but loving the sound of it too much to stop. Something about it calls to him, eases the part of him calling out, crying for another if only for a little bit.

Yuki gets lost in the music so easily Minako usually has to kick him out of her studio so she can teach lessons.

When this happens Yuki goes to the sea. There is something familiar about it. Something that draws him in, brings him back again and again. The sound of waves crashing against the shore is comforting. It’s an unchanging constant. Something that surpasses time and memory. Something Yuki knows was there before, regardless if he remembers it or not. Something he understands and that doesn’t need to be deciphered or puzzled together. It just... is.

Yuki sighs, pulling his knees in more to his chest. He hasn’t been able to connect with anyone really. Maybe if he’s smaller he can disappear.

_It’s not like anyone would notice._

The thought makes him freeze. He already _has_ disappeared, hasn’t he? And the ring he has clasped in his hand at that moment must mean someone noticed, right?

 _If it even_ is _your ring_.

He looks down at it, turning it slightly so it catches the sun, running his thumb across the smooth lettering inside the band.

It makes his chest ache, but he doesn’t really know for who or what.

Yuki feels like he’s supposed to be looking for something or someone. No, not a feeling. This… sensation, whatever it is, it’s stronger than a feeling. It’s a deep burning ember in his chest, and he, he just... knows. And maybe it’s the knowing that’s making the feeling that’s been haunting him ever since he woke up. Maybe if he didn’t know he wouldn’t feel the emptiness, the hole inside eating a cavern in his chest making it ache with longing but for who or what he doesn’t really know.

Yuki just knows he’s supposed to be looking. He has to be, right? With what the ring says?

He rolls it between his fingers, let’s the smooth metal glide across his skin eyes catching again on the words engraved inside the band.

_To My Love_

Yuki had loved someone. Or at the very least someone must’ve loved him. And he… He forgot them.

Ever since Minako returned it to him he has wracked the corners of his mind trying desperately to remember anything. Any speck of touch, wisp of voice, glimpse of visage.

But there’s nothing.

Just a maddening blackness.

Yuki may have forgotten this person, but if he finds them again, surely they will still know him. Surely they can tell him who he is, and then maybe, just maybe, he will remember, and then maybe he won’t feel so empty anymore.

* * *

“Yuki, if you can’t sit still please go for a walk or something,” Minako snaps and Yuki winces.

“Sorry.”

He’s been pacing in the sitting room while Minako reads. He’s antsy and he’s not really sure why, he just needs to move. He glances over at the door, perhaps a walk wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

“It’s okay. Just if you need to get out, do. You’re pacing like a caged tiger and I am trying to read about Miss Hawthorne and Mr. Sanderson falling desperately in love. You’re taking away from the ambiance,” her mouth quirks in amusement at him which Yuki has learned means she isn’t actually upset.

He looks at her a bit longer. It’s starting to get late, but he does want to get out. Maybe… maybe if he wanders a bit it’ll quell the restlessness inside him.

“Okay,” he finally agrees and starts for the door.

“But be careful okay? The King’s ball is tonight so more carriages will be out than normal. I’d prefer to not have you flattened,” Minako warns.

“Yes, Minako,” Yuki smiles. “I’ll be back soon. Promise.”

“Well not too soon I hope because I’m just getting to the good part,” she winks at him.

Yuki laughs and assures her not too soon before stepping out the door into the cool night air. He takes a deep breath, breathing in the smell of the sea that taints the wind and then he walks. He doesn’t really know where he’s going though, he simply lets his feet take him.

Minako was right, the streets are much more crowded than usual at this time of evening. It seems that the townspeople feel they should have their own celebration. He weaves through the crowds in the streets, the soft glow of lamps lighting the way as he loses himself to the noise and chatter, the gossip going on around him. If he listens to that then the voices in his head aren’t so loud. The crowds grow thicker the closer he gets to the palace, and as he pushes through them it becomes suffocating. Yuki spots a small side street and immediately heads that direction.

As he enters it the number of people near immediately decrease and his breath comes easier again. He only has one direction to go now so he follows the street, passing house doors and lit windows, the longer he follows the fewer houses, the further and further between swathes of light, but Yuki keeps following his feet, not knowing where they’re taking him.

While he walks he sees parents ushering their children inside and friends bidding each other goodbye, even a young couple who can hardly bare to tear themselves apart. Each house is a life. A family. People who love and care about each other. And Yuki can’t help but wonder if he had that at one point. Can’t help but wonder if he ever had somewhere he was supposed to return to every night, someone he was supposed to return to. He wonders if their chest tightens just as much as his does when they think about him. He wants so desperately to-

The ground disappears beneath his feet and he’s falling, sliding down. He loses balance and tumbles forward, head over heels, branches clawing against him and rocks bruising as he goes. He lands with a fwump on his behind and a spinning head, not knowing which way is up and which is down.

He raises his hand to his head trying to steady it. He blinks, slowly pulling his focus back in. He checks his glasses which are, by some grace of the universe, still on his face and not broken. He looks over himself and sees though that he has torn his shirt and muddied his pants. He did not want to think of what Minako would have to say about this.

Once he’s taken inventory of himself he finally looks up around him.

Yuki sits up straight, blinking. He’s by the sea now, waves steadily coming in. Somehow he has made his way back to the ocean, but it’s not an area he recognizes. He stands and looks around. All around the beach are trees. They cover the slope he fell down and he doesn’t see another path up. The beach seems lonely, secluded.

He looks toward the ocean again, scanning the beach. It’s just sand, but then he sees it, a collection of large smooth round rocks that almost seem like they’re screaming at him.

He walks forward, breath catching, because now, now this place seems familiar, it seems… right. Yuki doesn’t know why though. He reaches the rocks, pausing next to them. He reaches out, hand gliding over the smooth surface. They feel familiar.

Something cool and wet suddenly sweeps over his feet. He looks down and watches the water pull back and then a sudden urge to be in the water washes over him. It’s calling him, has been calling him and now that he has a taste of it Yuki _needs_ to get in, _needs_ to swim.

Pulling his shirt over his head, he throws it to the side, not seeing where it lands, before he pulls off his shoes and pants as well. The only thing he carefully takes off are his glasses which are set nicely on the top of a boulder. Looking out to the sea he sees the waves of water, they call out and beckon him to come in, they welcome him with open arms. He laughs as he takes a step forward, the water chilly, but pleasant as it kisses his skin when he wades deeper.

He jumps and dives into the waves, feeling the coolness cover him and the salt sting, but his heart feels full in a way it hasn’t since he woke up. Like one of Yuki’s missing pieces has fallen into place. Yuki twists in the water, floating on his back, smiling up at the stars above him.

He doesn’t know how long he spends jumping in the waves, floating on their tips, and diving to touch the sand below, but eventually he grows tired. He drags himself from the water, panting, but feeling overjoyed. When he reaches the boulders again he takes up his glasses and settles onto one of the stones and pulls his feet up, resting his chin on his knees, looking out to the ocean. The moon is bright in the sky by now the light reflected by the water. It’s a beautiful silver, dancing across the waves, kissing them playfully.

A rustle of branches pulls Yuki from his thoughts. He turns just in time to see a man emerge. He looks disgruntled at first, upset about something, but then his eyes land on Yuki and he freezes. The man can be described as nothing but beautiful. Silver hair that matches the moon on the ocean, eyes sparkling, tall, with broad shoulders. The man looks startled at first, but then he steps haltingly forward.

His brow creases, mouth gaping a moment before one word leaves his lips.

“Yuuri?”

**Author's Note:**

> Blue Rose: A perfectly blue rose is elusive. It represents the unattainable or the mysterious. They therefore embody the desire for the unattainable. “I can’t have you but I can’t stop thinking of you.”
> 
> Thank you for reading! Special thanks to [saro](http://sarogane.tumblr.com/) for editing! 
> 
> If you'd like sneak peaks for the next chapter or like my writing I do a daily drabble! So please check me out on [tumblr](http://midnightmooncatcher.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/mooncatcher21)!


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